I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing
with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans
8:18)
There are times in our lives that God brings us
to a place of brokenness to show us just how much we are in need of healing. God
delights in our brokenness, because it is in these times that we often allow
him the most room to work in and through us. Sometimes this brokenness is due
to something in our present; other times the brokenness is due to something in
our past.
Over the last few months, God has brought to me
such a brokenness – a brokenness due to something from the past. Tonight,
through tears, I prayed the same prayer I've been praying for so long: God,
show me how to fix myself.
And tonight, for the first time, I heard an
answer. He whispered this simple answer to my heart, and it was perhaps the
most powerful answer he's ever given me...
Your prayer has too many words.
And without even thinking, suddenly I prayed: God,
fix me.
The excitement in speaking that prayer was
INCREDIBLE!!! I actually screamed out loud, I was so excited!! And then I
laughed... I stopped crying and I laughed! And then I laughed until I cried!!
I had been feeling so hopeless and so helpless
for so long. No matter how hard I tried, I could not seem to come up with
anything I could do to fix this issue in my life.
And God showed me – the reason I couldn’t come
up with anything, was because there wasn’t anything I could do! Changing my
prayer allowed me to release the control I never really had in the first place;
and it allowed me to release myself from the responsibility of fixing something
I was never capable of fixing! It shifted the control and responsibility to God
– where it really always was anyway!
Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise. (Jeremiah 17:14)
Jeremiah doesn’t pray Show me how to heal myself, Lord, or Show me what I need to do to be healed. No! He simply says Heal me, Lord!
…and I will be healed.
