Why We Need Friends

The life of a single mom can at times be incredibly busy and chaotic. We want friends, but we don't have time. We want to engage in the friendships we have, but we don't have the emotional energy. But we really just can't afford not to.

God didn't put us here to walk this life alone. He designed us for relationships. And not just married relationships. He created us to do life with other people. He never intended for us to isolate ourselves from the world around us. In fact, doing so can deprive us of the very life God has created us for.

Here are five very important reasons why we - especially as single moms - need solid Christian friends.


1. Support and Encouragement

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We all experience trials in our lives. Being a single mom, it can be easy to get wrapped up in our trials and convince ourselves that we're all alone because, on top of the trial itself, we also struggle with feelings of isolation. A trusted friend will remind us that we are not alone and will offer valuable perspective to our situations. And sometimes, she'll just be there to comfort us as we cry.


2. Challenge and Accountability

Proverbs 13:20

This is huge. We all have ways in which we can grow. Whether we're struggling to get finances under control, striving to live a healthier lifestyle, or simply trying to be more biblical in our parenting, having a good friend to hold us accountable can make all the difference in the world. Oftentimes, to ourselves, we'll justify and rationalize steps in the wrong direction even when we know better... but a good friend will challenge our irrational rationalizations and help to motivate us to make better choices. She will provide wisdom and Godly advice, and will be honest even when honesty is difficult.


3. Celebrating Blessings

Ruth 2:18-21

Who wants to have a party all alone?? Ok, so maybe there are times when I do... but for the most part, when something really great happens in my life, I want to share it with someone! But a blessing can quickly feel more like a tragedy if we have no one to celebrate with. We need friends who can be genuinely happy for us and who can share in our excitement. And these same friends will also remind us of our blessings when life gets overwhelming and we start to lose focus and feel discouraged.


4. Prayer and Spiritual Strength

Matthew 18:19-20

Whether they're praying with us, by our side, or whether they're praying for us from a distance, the spiritual strength of a praying friend is irreplaceable. They become witnesses to us of Christ's love and commitment, and they help to strengthen our faith when we find it wavering. When we're tasked with the responsibility of being a spiritual leader for our family without the support or leadership of a "teammate", feelings of fear and inadequacy can easily creep in. Not only that, but life happens and everyone gets discouraged from time to time. We need the spiritual encouragement and prayer cover of strong Christian friends as an added layer of protection over us and our children.


5. Get Us Out of Our Comfort Zones

Matthew 4:18-22

I am not naturally inclined to attend big parties. I'm not drawn to socializing with strangers. But some of my greatest memories are of times when a friend has dragged me... ahem ... encouraged me to participate in something I wouldn't normally participate in. Some of my closest friends today are actually women who were once strangers with whom I (grudgingly) worked up the energy to engage in conversation.


Search through scripture and you can find countless examples of how Jesus used relationships to do each and every one of these things. There are simply too many to list. It's important for all Christians to invest in relationships with other believers, but it's especially necessary for the single mom who has no spouse to fill these roles in her life and yet is in the position of needing these roles filled more desperately than many.

I am blessed with an amazing group of friends, and I truly don't know what I would do without them. I thank God for them every day. I know without a doubt that I would not be where I am today if not for the love, support, encouragement, challenges, blessings, and adventures that their presence brings to my life.